gaps in thought

My mouth has a habit of moving too quickly.
Its instinct. Not aiding in protection.
It surely isn't a survival mechanism. What the purpose of my quick moving mouth is, I have yet to discover. Considering I have only barely been able to tame it I am somewhat certain it is bound to serve a greater purpose.
Still waiting.
Still.

It was here.

I have heard the cliche "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" about as many times as any other living being around the age of 23. It has come to mind from time to time, but it is now where near my favorite of all the cliches.
I prefer Foot loose and fancy free.
Anyhow.
I have been a diligent student this entire semester. I have given up more than a few nights out in order to finish papers, read books; and I have had nothing but sexual politics and popular 20th century american culture on my mind for months. Now I am ready to give my brain a little bubbly and talk some ears off. Dancing could only make this night better!
Fingers crossed.

St.Valentine

Heart shaped pizzas with heart shaped zucchini and pineapple.
Brian made one anatomical style with sun dried tomatoes as veins. Delicious wine from eureka. Watching a dog show with our friends.
Heart shaped cheesecake.
Friends all around, for a winter in the city.
Lucky wouldn't do it justice.
Did you know that Al Capone is buried in a cemetery less that 2 yards from his rivals. People he had killed are covered in dirt. Memorialized by concrete. In honor of murder.

me

Crossing my fingers.
Darla's stuffed mushrooms.
David Lynch. What. The. Fuck.
Best triple berry cobbler.
Lucky.

Capturing moods

Tiny fish in a giant pond.
A gigantic perplexing overwhelming swamp of a pond.
6x6, 5x5, 7x6.
Whatever the measurements may be.
Lately it has felt non-existent.
Not on the surface.
Ideas, interests, intelligence.
Things less worthy of note.
Simplified version.
me < everyone else
OR
Me=. . .

Why you may ask? (all one of you that reads my blog...Thanks shiney)
I suppose it is because I am regular. Regular interests.
Regular boring.
Regular. I am starting to develop a sensitivity towards my lack of individuality. I am my own version of crazy, but other than that what sets me apart.
Lost in the shuffle.
Even my lunch is forgotten.
Don't get me wrong. I've been called self loathing a handful of times, but this isn't a self loathing moment.
I am just making the connections. So shoot me.

so-so saturday

Last night I had a dream that left me with two bullet wounds in the stomach. I woke up with aches and pains that ruined my day. I think its time to let the blood go.

12 hour work day

There is so much beyond eye level. I never noticed how tall the buildings were until I finally looked up from my path. Oblivious to anything above ground.
Suddenly I feel as though there is now way I can leave this place until I know it. All of it. Every inch.
I want to drive down every ally way and up every hill. I want to know it in my sleep. My dreams will be maps of the streets. In my sleep ill live in every corner until the corners merge into a solid block of familiar space.
Impossible has been blocked from my realm of reality.