flowers

Conniving. Your words. Cut through the flesh and strike the bone. Aimed with the intention of harming the heart. If the love you once had for my veins and bones and flesh does no longer exist. Why persist? Quit with the words and empty complaints. Time will not award the proper change if actions aren't hasty.
Leave.
If the heart has gone cold find warmth. Do not let the rock pretend it is a flower any longer than it already has. Regardless stones still sink to the very bottom.

what is?

Colossal in shape.
Glacial in strength.
Falling down may chip off bits and pieces.
Alone at times.
Depths unpainted.
Primer in repair.
Holding the bulk of the weight.
Standing of its own height.
Incapable of measurement.
Invisible to the naked eye.
If sometimes finds itself misplaced.

Da Bai

On the bus. Exhausted and freezing, but this city is keeping me warm. For every moment of the day is an extreme of some sort. If something is far away it really far away. If they say its going to rain the skys are black and it rains all day. When it is hott it feels like the most intense heat wave the city has ever seen.
This city is dramatic. It is chaos. Contradictions everywhere.
It is what you want it to be. Right now I want it to be mine. All mine. Come to mama.

just in time

In my book the only thing worthy of fear is failure.
Now that there is nothing to obsess over I am scarred. Terrified. Anxious. There are only two options now.
Success or failure.
The past few months I have been filled stress that is completely irrelevant to my life. Worrying about things that don't matter. I have been working my entire life to get to this point. Here I am. Trying to avoid the future. Because it is horrifying.
There it lies. The big white envelope sitting in front of me and I can avoid it no longer.
I am half way there. One step closer to the only thing I have ever wanted. A college education. From this point on the learning will never stop.

raindrops on the windows

Things I most want to say.
They are the hardest to speak.
The words barely fit together in my mind.
Blinded by the weakness
Gripping flawed.
Slipping through.
Let the truth be known. Those who know, know it all. From the very peak to the depths of the valley. They deserve the full attention. Yet it is wasted. Patience deserved, given to less worthy.
I want to turn the wipers off. Let the rain roll right down the windows.

kiwi&strawberry

Harder to predict that the temperature.
Lime in the eyes of time.
Rosy red with regret.
The days pass by
While I'm still living my life.
With or with out
Eyes open to more than the clouded sky.
Gripping bricks older
Much stronger. Climbing.
Although tiring, inspiring.
It always leaves you further than before.
Above it all is where you will find me.

This Girl

I live a life of fairy tales. Dreaming dreams that should come true. I suppose it isn't completely made of fairy tales because sadly I am aware that not all dreams come true. To call it high expectations would be a mistake. I like to call it an extreme interpretation of life as I see it. I want all of the things I cannot have. To be a good judge of character. To have true friends. To live a life that disney movies would be jealous of.
In my world I expect very little from people. In "reality" I find myself disappointed too frequently. Standing still in a spinning room is harder than it sounds. The world hectic around me I try to grab people from inside the chaos and bring them into my lair of serenity. Disappointment is what happens when I realize that they were actually happy inside the spin cycle.
Always learning the hard way. Preferably this awakening would only have to happen once. If only my memory were less of a wreck. I would remember to look for the qualities in people that leave me in the position I am now.
As if friendship weren't hard enough. Who would have know that the older we get the harder it is to make true friends.
Let us drink to lessons learned.