look

The best and worst advice I ever received was in the form of a quotation. A very wise woman said it first and another wise woman passed it onto me.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." A mighty high place to put the bar if you ask me. In theory this should be the motto of every single woman. The world would be a much calmer place. The only problem is I'm not consenting to anything.

So why do I have this feeling in my gut. Like I just got punched hard from behind. The air taken from my lungs with a force I didn't know existed. In under 45 minutes my self esteem shattered. All at the hands of others.

So silly it is to have feelings visible enough to be hurt by others. A childish mistake I thought I was wise enough to avoid. Immaturity there to look me in the face once more. A cruel reminder that the direction I've been going is only taking me in circles.

I'm focusing on a quick fix. Something to hold me over until I get to some sort of plateau. In stead of growth I have forced myself back into old habits out of fear. The only question I have is how do I get back on track?