Its the rejection that's driving me to drink. Its the uncertainty that is steering me in this direction. The competition. Its hard for me to comprehend. Among many other things holding me back. Inside feels hallow and devoid of pain reception. Its just not getting through to me. So dense upstairs.
From the start of the maze I've been lost. Being lost isn't as bothersome as one would predict. Until the facts set in. Dangling from a tree I've forgotten where I've been, until my arms begin to tire. Jumping to the ground I find my way by accident. I stumble upon fortunate finding.
Are they meant to be mine. Left for me to stumble upon. It could just be an indicator that a little effort would merit even more fortunate findings. However, it is like I have forgotten how to be ambitious. How to succeed. I want so badly to find this urge once again.
If I could just simply stumble upon it...
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